This is on an entirely different level now. More obscene suffering in every nook and cranny of existence than I can even ATTEMPT to fathom. The more skill I think I acquire in trying to navigate this utter madness, the more fiendishly and painfully incongruous and perverse it becomes towards me. Staying above the pathetic nonsense is no different from getting dragged down into the mud with it. But I try to stick with the high road, nonetheless.
Alexander your reality has never been anything but your own impressions and interpretations of your immediate surroundings (especially upon a media screen, which has no factual basis whatsoever), and the actions you take based on it: emulating, evading, confronting. And they steal from, provoke, irritate, confine, and TORTURE you without any motivation nor regard for any propriety or consistency in behavior- propriety I somehow defined for MYSELF even as it was negated with unbelievable corruption, lies, and hypocrisy. You can continue to try to do things with it, of course, keep pushing to find or create something exciting and beautiful. Torture YOURSELF with delusions and expend great efforts If you think that it could mean an opportunity to chart a unique and pleasing course at times, with/in as much as you have. Alone. But fully expect that your efforts will be sabotaged and/or completely ignored. AS IF. There is no one there. There never has been or will be.
No matter what you think you believe on any level.
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