noun verb adjective

This is on an entirely different level now.  More obscene suffering in every nook and cranny of existence than I can even ATTEMPT to fathom.  The more skill I think I acquire in trying to navigate this utter madness, the more fiendishly and painfully incongruous and perverse it becomes towards me.  Staying above the pathetic nonsense is no different from getting dragged down into the mud with it.  But I try to stick with the high road, nonetheless.

Alexander your reality has never been anything but your own impressions and interpretations of your immediate surroundings (especially upon a media screen, which has no factual basis whatsoever), and the actions you take based on it: emulating, evading, confronting.  And they steal from, provoke, irritate, confine, and TORTURE you without any motivation nor regard for any propriety or consistency in behavior- propriety I somehow defined for MYSELF even as it was negated with unbelievable corruption, lies, and hypocrisy.  You can continue to try to do things with it, of course, keep pushing to find or create something exciting and beautiful.  Torture YOURSELF with delusions and expend great efforts If you think that it could mean an opportunity to chart a unique and pleasing course at times, with/in as much as you have.  Alone.  But fully expect that your efforts will be sabotaged and/or completely ignored.  AS IF.  There is no one there.  There never has been or will be.

No matter what you think you believe on any level. 

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resonance

I require nothing more than what/where I am at any given point in time.

Or far less.

And desire is a slippery slope.

Now & Again

Give and take

Love and hate

Who's the fish?

Who's the bait?

Foolish and friendly

Or cruel and dumb

Shoot first, and then see:

Billionaire or bum?

Killing time is all we do

(And, sometimes, each other, too)

You say, "Hello", I say, "Fuck you"

You say, "Ok", and then we do

Transactions, interactions

Feed and let it breed

Make, market, sell, buy

Slaves of lust and greed

What's the time?

How much for this or that?

What is crime?

Contradiction with impact

Conspiracy with sleeper cells

Drones make contributions

Society, a convenient Hell

Drop-dead gorgeous executions

birds and insects

You're ugly. And you're stupid. Nearly all of you. You're insects, kids. Stay the hell away from me.

Hey you, over there. No, not in the pink, in the black. Yeah; c'mon over and talk to me pretty lady, don't be shy. Show me what you got.

I don't want to be around insects. Don't you be crawling all around me because I hate you with all my heart. And don't you dare bite me- cause I'll fucking crush you.

I wanna hang with the birds. I wanna learn to fly.

cushions

What is it really? What is it about life that makes it worth it? I think it's only habit. And repetition of learned patterns taken from our surroundings. How can free will even be possible? A first breath leads to another, sucking air in and out right from our removal from the womb. It isn't beautiful- it's a horrific process. Medicine is the evil of mankind, our fragile human bodies dependent upon it to heal the wounds life feeds us, which would give us the freedom of death otherwise. My God it's a living nightmare- only levels of discomfort or comfort from the cradle to the grave. Children, adults, class levels, ethnicity, governments, society- all that divides us and puts us in competition with each other for survival. Marerial goods? Drugs? Sex?...there's always masturbation. Kindness?... a rarity at best in this sick world. All alone is all we are in the end; life is ultimately really a solitary experience. This world is a wasteland where we delude ourselves into thinking that a lifetime of suffering is worth a few sprinkled moments of wonderment in between. There is no true worth in living. Take the advice of those who try to say otherwise with a grain of salt.

Welcome to my world.

And fuck you, I don't need life insurance, thank you very much.